Well, I didn't keep the promise I made to myself walking up to my apartment: I'd post an entry before I read my e-mail. No big loss, I just don't feel as motivated to write anymore. However, I feel like I need to post a few things just to bring this journal up to speed.
In the past few weeks I've experienced what can only be described as a "spiritual awakening." I've been searching for something in myself, searching for God since before my grandfather passed away. I even brought the subject up to him and he gave me the kind of reply that makes me admire him so much as a man and son of God--"I started feeling the need for the spirit in my life, and I did a lot of hard thinking and reading before I finally accepted Christ. If you give it time, and truly feel it in your heart, you'll find him. It's a personal experience than I can't 'make happen.'" I've paraphrased a thirty minute conversation as best as memory permits, but I think you get the gist.
In order to speak candidly about these things, I should point out that the things I say may sound strange to the ears of those who have not experienced, but I must speak so in order to feel the Spirit. If you knew me in high school, or last year in college, I may sound like a completely different person. If you think that, there's good reason to believe so. I am.
My walk with God took a tremendous step in the right direction about three weeks ago and continues 'til today. I want to share that with you as succinctly and openly as possible without writing a testimony:
I came to the realization that all my life I had been viewing God from my own perspective. "Well, duh!" you might say, but hear me out. When focused through the eyes and intellect of man, God appears as some omnipotent father figure high aloft a throne or pedestal far out of reach with man and Christ appears as an intercessor, a messenger. In a small sense that is true, but it misses the point entirely. In order to really get in your spirit, you have to view things from God's perspective, which is impossible with the human intellect. That's precisely why you use your spirit instead of your mind. Somehow this magnificent channel opens and reveals to you the concept of God's plan. The reason that so many people don't understand it is because they lack this perspective, and we all lack the ability to share the experience with one another. It truly is a personal experience.
There are various ways to accomplish this sort of connection, but the best way is through prayer. This is coming from a formerly ardent naysayer of the power of prayer. It's amazing what the Lord can do for you.
There are so many thoughts swimming through my head from day to day, I only come to peace when my mind focuses on the Word. Through the Word I can experience Him, just by calling on His name. I learned this handy technique from a pamphlet entitled "Pray-Reading the Word." To learn more about my experience, the best way is to share in the experience with gropus on campus or in your life that can guide you in the right direction. If you're interested check out the website below for general information and full texts.
Living Stream Ministries
